Lazy Gym Rats

Today's Colbert-ism: “I've swallowed 18 condoms full of truth and I'm headed across the border!”


I had an encounter at the gym today. I want to first say that not every one who goes to the gym is being “active.” Many people are actually super-lazy when they get there. There’s two kinds of lazy, too. The first is the woman who camps out on a weight bench and talks on the cell phone while we all wait on her. The second type of lazy “worker-outter” is the guy who doesn’t rack his weights or put medicine balls back after he’s done with them. My encounter was with the second kind of lazy.

It started out simple enough. This guy was using the bench press and I was going to use it after him. So I asked him how many more sets he had. He said he had two more. I said, “Cool. Take your time.” Up to know, everything’s cool. So he gets finished with his second set and tells me it’s all mine. But I quickly noticed a puddle of sweat where his head and back were. So I asked, “Hey, man, could you wipe down the bench real quick?” So he set his towel down on the spot and then picked it up real quick.

This is the turning point in the story where I start to get pissed with Pedro.

The bench was still covered with sweat. The conversation then went thus:

P: Could you actually wipe the whole bench?

PEDRO: It’ll dry.

P: Well, it’s not dry yet and I’m ready to go.

PEDRO: What? Is this your first time at the gym?

(I lose it right here…)

P: Yeah, I know where all the signs that say “wipe your shit off when your done” are, I’m a foot shorter than you and I bench twenty pounds more than you, and all the trainers know me by name because they’re just ultra-perceptive. Sure, it’s my first time at the gym. I’m just asking you to wipe off a bench, it’s not gonna take away from your reps, big guy.

Silence.

Instead of trying to formulate a response, he wiped off the bench. The point is, people, practice some common courtesy. It’s no wonder the world is going to hell gradually. People are just getting lazy when it comes to common courtesy. Guys, if you sweat all over something, wipe it off. Ladies, if you’re washing your car, wear a bikini if you’re hot. The end.

peace sign,
p