Tonight's Colbert-ism: "DNA determines everything from what shoe size you'll wear, to which of these water fountains you can use."
I saw the best commercial I've seen in a long time today. It was for Cingular/AT&T and it was the one with Roger Clemens and his wife. He's on the golf course and tells her over the phone that he'll retire for good. All she has to do is say it. But then the call gets dropped. He's celebrating on the golf course about coming back for one more season. She's in his kitchen (c'mon, he paid for it) yelling and screaming into the phone for him to retire. I laughed very hard. That's what advertising should be. The end.
peace sign,
p
Monday, August 27, 2007
Monday, August 13, 2007
The Stag
Tonight's Colbert-ism: "For those of you who don't know what a 'blogger' is, it is someone who has a laptop, an axe to grind, and their virginity."
This is going to sound obvious, but it's nice to have someone to laugh and waste time away with. This weekend I hung out with a friend and it was the first time in a long time that I was able to have some real fun with a friend here in Cal. No real agenda or anyone telling us to hurry up or slow down. No one to point out faults or place blame. Just a series of moments of relaxation and happiness. Company. It makes you feel like your important, if even for a day at a time. I'm thankful for those moments. The end.
peace sign,
p
This is going to sound obvious, but it's nice to have someone to laugh and waste time away with. This weekend I hung out with a friend and it was the first time in a long time that I was able to have some real fun with a friend here in Cal. No real agenda or anyone telling us to hurry up or slow down. No one to point out faults or place blame. Just a series of moments of relaxation and happiness. Company. It makes you feel like your important, if even for a day at a time. I'm thankful for those moments. The end.
peace sign,
p
Thursday, August 9, 2007
That's a First For Me
Tonight's Colbert-ism: “Now I like that part he said there about this Wall Street melt down being a sign of Armageddon. For years I’ve been saying that Jesus is coming back on a cloud of money.”
Well, I finally experienced something last night that I had longed to be a part of since I moved to LA: An earthquake. Now, it's one thing to experience an earthquake. It's another to experience one for the first time. It's yet another to experience your first earthquake at 12:30 A.M. while watching Halloween II. Yes, I poohed a little.
The weirdest part of the ordeal was the non-quake part of the episode. I'll explain. At first I had no idea I was experiencing an earthquake. I was sitting on my couch and all of a sudden it felt like several people were shaking it in unison. At first I doubted that it was an earthquake because nothing but my couch was moving. No pictures on the walls moved. Nothing I had propped against the walls like my Guitar Hero guitar even slightly moved. So doubting that it was even an earthquake, mt mind went down the list of logical explanations for what I must have felt. Here's what my brain (which is also a sort of "natural" disaster) came up with: "Oh, God, oh, God! There's a small animal under my couch and its trying to escape."
So immediately I brought my knees to my chest and sat in a fetal position for a few minutes thinking that if there were a badger under my couch, it would try to free itself again. Over the next few minutes I convinced myself that there was no animal under the couch and that the shaking must have been a quake. The next part is equally as pathetic.
I went outside to look around, hoping others would have felt the vibrations and wanted to check out the neighborhood for damage as well. There was no one in sight. It was like a scene in one of those Apocalypse movies where a virus or something else has wiped out all of humanity and so all the cities and towns are completely empty except for one person. I was that guy in my mind last night. Well, I knew that I wasn't the only one alive in Culver City. But it did get me to thinking about how if there was some case where I was the last man standing, I would be screwed because I'm not extremely resourceful. I mean, I'd last for a while because there's a grocery store within a five minute walk from my place. If I had a brick I could smash out the door and get in and get more food and water. But once I run out of good stuff to eat in there I'd be done for. Either that or I'd have to find another grocery store. But that would be like a four mile walk.
Anyway, it was an interesting experience. Actually, once it was all over and my heart settled a little I realized how cool a feeling it was. Like my cousin Peter said, it was a little like a free ride at a thrill park. The point I'm trying to make is football season is almost here, and I can't wait! The end.
peace sign,
p
Well, I finally experienced something last night that I had longed to be a part of since I moved to LA: An earthquake. Now, it's one thing to experience an earthquake. It's another to experience one for the first time. It's yet another to experience your first earthquake at 12:30 A.M. while watching Halloween II. Yes, I poohed a little.
The weirdest part of the ordeal was the non-quake part of the episode. I'll explain. At first I had no idea I was experiencing an earthquake. I was sitting on my couch and all of a sudden it felt like several people were shaking it in unison. At first I doubted that it was an earthquake because nothing but my couch was moving. No pictures on the walls moved. Nothing I had propped against the walls like my Guitar Hero guitar even slightly moved. So doubting that it was even an earthquake, mt mind went down the list of logical explanations for what I must have felt. Here's what my brain (which is also a sort of "natural" disaster) came up with: "Oh, God, oh, God! There's a small animal under my couch and its trying to escape."
So immediately I brought my knees to my chest and sat in a fetal position for a few minutes thinking that if there were a badger under my couch, it would try to free itself again. Over the next few minutes I convinced myself that there was no animal under the couch and that the shaking must have been a quake. The next part is equally as pathetic.
I went outside to look around, hoping others would have felt the vibrations and wanted to check out the neighborhood for damage as well. There was no one in sight. It was like a scene in one of those Apocalypse movies where a virus or something else has wiped out all of humanity and so all the cities and towns are completely empty except for one person. I was that guy in my mind last night. Well, I knew that I wasn't the only one alive in Culver City. But it did get me to thinking about how if there was some case where I was the last man standing, I would be screwed because I'm not extremely resourceful. I mean, I'd last for a while because there's a grocery store within a five minute walk from my place. If I had a brick I could smash out the door and get in and get more food and water. But once I run out of good stuff to eat in there I'd be done for. Either that or I'd have to find another grocery store. But that would be like a four mile walk.
Anyway, it was an interesting experience. Actually, once it was all over and my heart settled a little I realized how cool a feeling it was. Like my cousin Peter said, it was a little like a free ride at a thrill park. The point I'm trying to make is football season is almost here, and I can't wait! The end.
peace sign,
p
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
But Still...
Tonight's Colbert-ism: "And the wait continues for Barry Bonds to break the home run record, carrying on baseball's proud tradition of waiting for something to happen."
And that brings me to my opinion for the day. Barry Bonds is about to break the most hallowed record in American sports history: all-time home runs. I happento believe that Bonds used steroids along the way. But still, you have to consider some things Barry Bonds has been able to do that steroids cannot account for.
1) He gets walked all the time.
This bullet point is nearly literal. Barry has been walked more times than anyone in the game, ever: 2,539 times. I know, big deal right? But think about it. That means he must maximize his production. The man gets one good pitch to hit a game and he doesn't miss. That's more skill than power.
2) He's a good hitter.
Barry won the NL Batting Title in 2002 and 2004, so he can hit for average as well as power. That's just seeing the ball well, and as far as I know, steroids can't do that.
So while Barry may have cheated at getting the ball over the fence, let's not forget that he's a pretty great all-around baseball player. And this is coming from a Dodger's fan. The end.
peace sign,
p
And that brings me to my opinion for the day. Barry Bonds is about to break the most hallowed record in American sports history: all-time home runs. I happento believe that Bonds used steroids along the way. But still, you have to consider some things Barry Bonds has been able to do that steroids cannot account for.
1) He gets walked all the time.
This bullet point is nearly literal. Barry has been walked more times than anyone in the game, ever: 2,539 times. I know, big deal right? But think about it. That means he must maximize his production. The man gets one good pitch to hit a game and he doesn't miss. That's more skill than power.
2) He's a good hitter.
Barry won the NL Batting Title in 2002 and 2004, so he can hit for average as well as power. That's just seeing the ball well, and as far as I know, steroids can't do that.
So while Barry may have cheated at getting the ball over the fence, let's not forget that he's a pretty great all-around baseball player. And this is coming from a Dodger's fan. The end.
peace sign,
p
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Working Again
Tonight's Colbert-ism: “Nation, write congress and insist they stop Hollywood’s wrist-violence mania.”
Uhh, nothing really to say today, and I'm tired because I worked all day and tomorrow I will work even longer. All for free. But it's cool because I'm learning a ton. I hope I don't get too tired tomorrow. The end.
peace sign,
p
Uhh, nothing really to say today, and I'm tired because I worked all day and tomorrow I will work even longer. All for free. But it's cool because I'm learning a ton. I hope I don't get too tired tomorrow. The end.
peace sign,
p
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
You Can't Hide Forever
Tonight's Colbert-ism: "“Mmm, mmm, mmm, they are making Vicodin taste like Smartees now. I hope they send me some free Vicodin for mentioning their product.”
While I was in Kansas City (more accurately, St. Joseph, Missouri) last week, I had to do something I feared ever since May. See, last may, I finally went to work on my first legitimate feature film. I made a promise to myself when I moved to LA last year that I wouldn't get a tattoo until I worked on a legitimate, full length film. And even though Sister Switch was a low budget indie with obscure actors, no call sheets, and eventually got shelved indefinitely, it still counted. So at the end of May I decided to give myself the reward I had patiently waited for and earned through my hard work. I went to Ink Monkey Tattoos at the corner of Lincoln and Venice and got a Kansas Jayhawk tattooed on the back of my left shoulder blade.
It's a cool, accurate inking of my beloved university's mascot. People have told me that it looks really good and people who know me realize that it's fitting for me to have the Jayhawk permanently decorating my body. I've had people at the beach ask if they can photograph it. Even my grandma said, "You can't be out in California with out a Jayhawk!"
So last week at a family pool party, I obviously got in the pool and my mother finally saw what I had done. I had told everyone in my family except for my mother. Here's what my mother had to say (sarcastically) when she saw it as everyone else in my family looked on silently in eager anticipation:
Hip...hip...hooray.
I can't emphasize enough how un-enthused she was.
When I pulled out the old, "Grandma said it was a good idea" card, she said, "Well she's a very sweet lady." So my mother didn't like it, but I knew she wouldn't. But I went ahead and got a tattoo anyway. But I got something that made sense to me. Ask anyone about me and I guarantee they will say "Jayhawk" or "KU" while describing me. It's practically part of my identity. It's not like I got some girls name on my shoulder. The point is, with DVDs, you don't have to worry about rewinding. The end.
peace sign,
p
While I was in Kansas City (more accurately, St. Joseph, Missouri) last week, I had to do something I feared ever since May. See, last may, I finally went to work on my first legitimate feature film. I made a promise to myself when I moved to LA last year that I wouldn't get a tattoo until I worked on a legitimate, full length film. And even though Sister Switch was a low budget indie with obscure actors, no call sheets, and eventually got shelved indefinitely, it still counted. So at the end of May I decided to give myself the reward I had patiently waited for and earned through my hard work. I went to Ink Monkey Tattoos at the corner of Lincoln and Venice and got a Kansas Jayhawk tattooed on the back of my left shoulder blade.
It's a cool, accurate inking of my beloved university's mascot. People have told me that it looks really good and people who know me realize that it's fitting for me to have the Jayhawk permanently decorating my body. I've had people at the beach ask if they can photograph it. Even my grandma said, "You can't be out in California with out a Jayhawk!"
So last week at a family pool party, I obviously got in the pool and my mother finally saw what I had done. I had told everyone in my family except for my mother. Here's what my mother had to say (sarcastically) when she saw it as everyone else in my family looked on silently in eager anticipation:
Hip...hip...hooray.
I can't emphasize enough how un-enthused she was.
When I pulled out the old, "Grandma said it was a good idea" card, she said, "Well she's a very sweet lady." So my mother didn't like it, but I knew she wouldn't. But I went ahead and got a tattoo anyway. But I got something that made sense to me. Ask anyone about me and I guarantee they will say "Jayhawk" or "KU" while describing me. It's practically part of my identity. It's not like I got some girls name on my shoulder. The point is, with DVDs, you don't have to worry about rewinding. The end.
peace sign,
p
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